Trying out lucks :)

Yesterday was an amazing day and despite of all the exhaustion and rejection that we faced, I was really blessed to have the chances of exploring the society and the so called working life. It was practically something new to me as this time, I actually venture out of my normal zone than staying stagnant with the decision of helping out in church. I had the opportunity to experience the taste of seeking jobs and going through interviews, in which I would especially highlight the fact that we know nothing about this. We basically strolled through all the shops and companies available in Tawau just to try our luck and it was really funny but kind of fun in some way.

We started walking around the Fajar Area after we had Jasmine’s car being parked inside the church compound. The disappointing part was the fact that most application is for our dear “bumiputera with MyKad” or Full Time workers, note that I’m not trying to sound racist. The bright side was when Jasmine met a friend (a junior to be precise) who kindly recommended us some jobs available, his office is so nice and though it was just a plain interest, we had fun talking to him. Skip the middle cliché, we unexpectedly stepped into one of the Digi Centre whose salesgirl is kind of snobbish. When we were just about to leave for goodness sake, the person in charge approached and greeted us. I have to say that she’s so helpful and sweet for providing us lots of information while we were filling the forms and even suggested us several other companies that offers vacancies, got to say that we really own her that.

I have no freaking idea that I would be this daring enough to run through stores seeking for jobs in a semi-formal look, I do know that dad doesn’t really care whether I get any since mom would prefer to have me staying at home doing all the house chores. Well, this is Jenn and I’d rather face challenges outside than getting rotten at home, I seriously damn mean it. Yea, I did consider assisting in church but I need some time of prayer to think carefully because I’m back to the fact that I’ll only be staying here for temporary and I seriously wouldn’t want my sudden leave to cause even the slightest problems or confusion to the church in any way especially when we’re running short of the staff workers. All these while, I really have to admit that I’m spiritually lacking and don’t feel that I’m worthy to be there. Besides, staying inside the comfort zone without trying to explore the outside world isn’t a good idea as well. I’ll take the risk.

Now back to the job seeking mission, we went as far as going to the auditing firms, chartered accounting and etc but the notable one is the last station, which is an English Learning Centre or something. We met the person in charge (not sure of his position though) who’s really good looking and speaks very good Mandarin and English. Jas and me were kind of melted though we’re nervous at the same time. Yet, it turns out that he’s very professional and good in engaging conversation. It feels wrong at first as we step into the office and after some long time of waiting, we took turns on the interviews. I spent at least 30 minutes inside the cold chilling office answering so many questions and after that, Jas only spend some shorter time than mine and started to talk to him like friends for years with a bit of sarcasm as she refers. We were slightly complimented for our English speaking ability but only God knows whether he’ll take favors on us the next time around for group interview.

Lets see, we filled in lots of forms with not much of confidence but at least I have a job coming next. For the mean time, I’ll get back to my focus in helping Rickson for revision. He seriously needs help. I don’t have any idea what to do next but this is my favorite part: “drawing lives in a blank new pages of life”. I have one more weeks to enjoy by the way. The nightmare will be preparing meals and house chores! Cheers to everyone who’s working, God see your labor so don’t give up, don’t fret : P

Jenn's farmville evolution

The reason why I’m so addicted to FB these days :D

Happy 19th Birthday Jenn

Its 12:34am while typing this after I showered. Sometimes I had to admit that, I can’t get over the loneliness. 34 minutes ago, I just turned 19. It’s no big deal but what I’m really touched was the fact that there are those who care, unlike someone.

I stayed up late on Saturday night after our supper with Jasmine cuz I was honestly full. What makes my day was seeing so many birthday greetings from people that I care; Hyacintha & Jack being the first two…while George & Faz accompanied me on the countdown. Owe them the sweetness. I was planning to have yesterday passed silently like some other day but I never thought Kevin and Dollie had planned something else for my birthday but of course, things go big after our dear Sir Alan hears this. So I have my cell members broke into my house and together with the house chef, Jess and a temporary kind maid, Kathy…they started to rumble up the kitchen. Owe my two sis a lot; they’ve been really nice to me.

Proud to say that my phone was jammed due to the missed calls and texts, it seriously made me happy. I thank God for everything I have, especially my cell group members, my monstrous sis, Sophia, Yi Hang, my sweet ex-cell leader and my ever gorgeous junior, Casey. Owh, and not forgetting my family members who are being superb supporting, I love them. The night is getting old, will upload some photos after I gathered them from the other cameras. Till then, nitez

And Happy Birthday Jenn ^^

(PS: I love da diary, the doll, strawberry flavored shower gel frm Body shop, the necklace, the purse……and …..hehe) THANKS!!!

1st page of new life

School life has officially come to an end but truthfully, my usual routine was greatly messed up. All the “hectic-ness” wasn’t there anymore, it feels rather empty. I was calmer than I thought I would be during the period of “examination war” and despite of everything, I’ve given my best. Whether it suffices or not, I’ll surrender it all to the Lord. I’ll just pray that the marking scheme won’t be so strict, who knows. Well, no more uniforms, rules, regulations, books, books and well said again, books and it’s a huge relief.

Everything was sort of in a rush, everyone has started to pack away the books and ready to embrace whatever’s coming up next. That year and a half shaped us well into who we are today. I’m going to miss everything and everyone. I know, I’m being emotional again. Anyway guys, congrats for the graduation. The next stop will be University so see you guys there. :)

Sorry for not being able to keep my promise on updating my blog, I lost my pendrive for the 3^rd times in a year and this time, it’s the one with the class photos T.T (Lucky its not my external drive that I'm fooling with) Reckless, I know….=;=

BLahs

I'M SO GONNA UPDATE THIS BLOG.....but after 10th of Dec
CHEERS XD

Kena langgar -.-

Had my worst nightmare week ago, not much of people know about this but some did called me for confirmation and yea, I was in car accident. It happened all of a sudden and my side door (the driver seat) was crashed but thank God it’s our national mini car (Kancil) who hit on me, else I would have to say “bye bye” to my leg. Skipping the story, losing some cash, and yea, there goes my new car. Never mind, I told my parents how reluctant I am to drive on my own initially, this should keep them from asking me to be the driver for quite some time. Good. Moral lesson behind the story, never ask me to do something that I don’t want to. (Though I do feel sorry -.-)

Life gets easy when you don’t have much expectation to live up with. Sometimes, I wished that I can be forgotten by the world and free to switch back to my old mode. To think back seriously, I am living by people’s set up standard isn’t it, only I’m a bit wild when it comes to making decision. Few hours to exam (again), no comment so don’t ask anything about it. I do what I can do and this is my life.

Am I appreciating life here?? Shoo, I am -.-

School Magazine 2009

This post is all about the newly published magazine that was released 3/4 days ago. After endless worries and conflicts, I thought all the efforts that I put on will finally bring about fruitful results. Obviously, I was wrong and that’s one hell of lesson that I learned when fate forced you to work with certain group of ignorant people. I don’t want to sound racist or being too critical in handling things but what turns out is really disappointing. I guess I just miscalculated. Enough said, I don’t mind taking responsibilities for flaws that appeared under my supervision but what about those that are not my part of job?

Most students congratulated me for doing a “good job” while some turned to me for questions and compare to those; I care more about the critiques that they mentioned. I hate giving excuses but there’s a need for me to clarify things and I don’t want to risk my reputations. First and foremost, the committee members are chosen by our fellow teachers and I have no option than to take up the role as the head of editorial team. The procedures are only briefly explained to us and we were left “exploring” the details so throughout the work, loads of things happened. That magazine you’re holding doesn’t pop out overnight.

So let’s make it fair and allow me to complain a bit. I would especially want to thank EVERYONE especially Mr Cucumber, Jeff Yapp, Angelina, Jenny and the others who sticked with me even until the end. We were forced to fight even during exams just to settle things, and I totally despise it when some people are not giving cooperation. The announcement to collect the data for EACH CLUB was done MONTHS AGO and yet certain people are deaf enough to pretend not knowing anything. So we went as far as finding them personally but still, it’s NOTHING. So don’t try to freaking blame us if you don’t find your face inside. Oh yeah, how about the English articles? Shoot, only Angel passed it up.

Did I mention that most students are giving us huge headache for their ugly written “valuable information”? Awh, not forgetting the VIP who expects us to run over their class just to get their piece of information so that they won’t be dropped out from the list and who exactly do you think you are?? Boss?? For the incomplete information or without photos, Pn Ku asked us to just erase them from the list but we DIDN’T cuz we pitied you fellow snails, Bartholomew even had to bring his camera to take photos for them! All of us have exams, curricular activities, personal stuffs and our life doesn’t revolve on collecting information for troubles and in exchanged of being complained…!

Come one guys, look into the mirrors and tell me how much do you contributes except for finding faults? You think you can do better?? Awh, TRY IT! By the way, the profile part is in charge by XX (refer to the magazine) and as the editor, my job is to print out a copy of it and have it checked by the head of languages department so that the edited ones can be passed to the person in charge to re-edit it before giving it to publishing company. I even did the layout designing though I’m not assigned to it. You know what came up? The fonts are changed; the data are incomplete, errors on mail links and blah blah blah…Now, are you expecting me to memorize more than 200++ graduating student’s mail address to make sure none of it are mistyped just because I’m the head of editor??? For the last time baby, the final draft was double checked by the person in charge before sending in to the teacher…want to know what happened?? Ask him and tell me as well. I’m not a God here.

The other thing that gets into my nerves is the missing pages!!!!!!!! What the hell is wrong with the publishing company?? Did they swallow up some of the pages while “editing” it?? The hardcopy and softcopy that we gave them is COMPLETED!!!! Now tell me why should I BE THE ONE who carries all the blame here?? Damn it, the school should do something about it! Anyway, I would apologize on behalf of the screwed publishing company for missing certain stuffs (especially the drama team, yes Mary, the drama club) and thanks to their brilliant works, my efforts seems to be in vain. Man, this thing is never going to end…. those who are curious eh? Grab a piece of the magazine and judge it on your own, I ain’t a sole producer here.

Kay, case closed for this and honestly, this year’s magazine rocks harder than your socks and it’d be better without the typo errors and the missing pages -.-

Stripped Strained Dawn

Life’s been pretty much about exams lately and thank God, it was better this time around. I have to keep reminding myself to be thankful in whatever circumstances that I’m falling into, at least I know that God won’t leave me along facing the storms. I have a confession to make; I think I’m starting to fall apart. I hate blaming things on others, it never was my style of digging things up but seriously now, someone’s killing me slowly.

Some girl friends of mine turned to me for comforts as they are struggling hard and I feel sad for them as tears dropped down their cheeks. Somehow, I felt the pain and it was rather immune to me so I told myself, that’s because I’ve been crying all my life while fighting way out to be who I am now. I don’t remember the last time I felt really happy about something but I do reckon thousands of moments when I was really upset. Was it me who’s being too sensitive or life is just realistically harsh?

Nothing beats the comforts of having someone besides you when the world seems to be fallen apart. Imagine yourself running on an endless field track with no direction or motives; I guess the greatest fear is always on how to stop and what to do next. My field, my game and that someone is never unambiguous. I’ve learnt to live life my own way without needing a particular someone. Years ago, someone taught me to listen to the whispers of silence. It sounds hideous but when that someone left, silence is the only thing that accompanies me. Though I managed to convince myself to keep moving on, it’s still hard for me to not think about the sorrows. Even until now, it’s funny how I start panicking despite the fact that I have everything under control. Right, everything is never exactly what it seems to be.

It seems like just months ago when I made up my mind to stay here. Loads of people asked me the reason why I’m staying here and all that I’m afford to share is that I’m not ready yet. 'He' was right when he said that I was cheating myself for saying I’m not ready because above everything else that I ever wanted is every possibilities to leave this place. I’m such a hypocrite. Only God knows the reason why He assured me to stay for another 18 months here, so I keep on convincing myself that this is going to be a crucial time to fix what has been broken for ages here. At least, I’ll be able to leave this place quietly and without any regrets.

Sometimes, I wish I could scream like crazy so badly that I cry like it’s the end of the world. I hate being strong and facing the burdens all alone. I’m not that girl with 99% of confidence and no worries as they think I am. Damn, I’m not. All these contradiction inside is getting my on my nerves, I want to rant like some silly kids!!! And…and I want to be pampered like a spoilt brat by someone who cares… screw that idea. Who the hell cares??!!! By the way, I DESPISE my name!!!

Enough of it, this blog is turning into the disposal of my emotional pains. I need to calm down. I’m giving credits to becs’s blog right here, I don’t know why but I love her blog. Boo to you if you don’t understand why.

I had loads of fun getting addicted to Facebook lately and stop warning me cuz I know how fast I’m killing myself with stuffs like that. Life was pretty good, much to my surprise but I haven’t been updating this since ages for certain reasons to be honest. So I learned quite some lessons and am trying to adapt every changes that is about to take place. Next week’s going to be all about exams and revisions so I guess I’ll just have to put down everything that has to do with Facebook. Oops, gotta run =D

-.-

I despise the fact that I’m currently trapped in my stagnant mode. Elaine knew it well that I flunked most of my paper during excel exam; only God knows my results. Well the truth is the whole class did this. Damn, I feel like I’m biting my own lips when I thought of defending myself with excuses to run away from the fact…yea, I always find excuses…but never try hard enough for any changes. I’m a complete ignorant and fool to be playing with time, I don’t have any option or rights isn’t it?? Then why on earth am I still like this when that first thing that I thought of doing should be revising for the upcoming exam??!! I’m a novel fanatic who never put any interest in my studies, not even a bit and funny how I still survive well. God has indeed blessed me well. It is my own foolishness that has disgraced his glory. People around me have started to prepare for the exams and yet I’m still struggling with “I-DUN-KNW-ANYTHN” in my mind right now. SShyteee!!!